Reflection

Disneyland!

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 05:22:32 GMT

At 21:25 the fireworks start. Just a moment before - Kirez and I found a place to stand right in the middle of the Main Street, next to the Walt Disney's monument. Sleeping Beauty Castle in the center and shooting stars of fireworks. I was looking at this miracle, and feeling Kirez's arms around me, I was thinking how happy I am. Emotions of this day, of the week of vacation, finally found the way out, I was looking at the sky and happy tears were coming down my face.

Disneyland!!!

11 am to 11 pm, 12 hours of pure joy and happiness.

The only time I've been to a big attraction park was in 1998, when me and my Mom and my sister, went to Spain and spent one day in Port Aventura in Salou, Catalonia. [Funny, just now realized that I was the same 15 yo, as was Kirez when he went to the Disneyland the last time :)] It's not at all close to what the Disneyland is, but I remember calling it Spanish Disneyland :) I guess this tweaked my expectations a little about the Disneyland. I was not prepared to see all these shows inside the rides, I was 'scared' in advance of the roller-coasters, and I couldn't anticipate the feeling of being in different world you got when you're walking the streets of the Disneyland... I'm not saying that Port Aventura is worse, or better than Disneyland, it is different. But only in Disneyland I've felt complete submersion in a fairytale.

Walking through the park I couldn't help smiling at little girls in Disney's princesses' dresses, Mickey's ears on every other head, smiles and laughs :) The music from favorite cartoons dictated the wonderful mood from the very moment we stepped off the parking tram and throughout the day.
I love Disney's cartoons! In fact, I was watching my favorite ones again and again within the last couple months after I realized that I started to understand the lyrics of the songs :) It probably sounds silly to you, but it is such a magical feeling, when listening to a song for the have-no-idea-what time you suddenly realize that you understand what you hear! My experience before that was only with Russian translations and they are not always exact. The best is if you're watching illegal copy with Russian over the English - this way you at least can hear the song as it is (most of the time in this illegal translations they will leave songs without any translation at all), but without knowing English it is just a beautiful song that doesn't make much sense.

I didn't know what I wanted to see the most. I wanted to be there, to walk and look, to ride everything that caught my eye. Oh, ok, Kirez will say that I'm lying, because almost in the very beginning I informed him that we are going to fly on Dumbo the flying elephant :) [he should be happy, because this saved him from the King Arthur's Carousel!] Why Dumbo? Because this little flying elephants were in so many movies and documentaries, that for me it was (in a row with Mad Tea Party) the only part of the park I knew :)

The Fastpass is a great thing! Unfortunately our plan of gathering all fastpasses we could think about as soon as we entered the park didn't work. They limit you to having only 1 active fastpass until it is about an hour to your next ride. This time is much shorter at night, and this let us to get two almost consecutive rides on Thunder Mountain Railroad :) But during the day we had to deal with the limitation.
The other 'fastpass technique' was to go to the ride during the Celebrate! parade, when most of the people were on the street waiting for Mickey and others.
Maybe this fastpass limitation is a good thing - we had time to see smaller attractions, that were not less interesting.

We had a wonderful wonderful time :) It is interesting that we don't have much photos, but here some of the few we have :)

Tarzan Tree House walk-through:

Entrance to the Adventureland:

Canoe:

Mickey Mouse! (oh, don't ask me what it cost me to drag Kirez to a Mickey's Toontown :)

I'm happy we didn't have time to see everything. It means that the Disneyland still has something special for us, and we will come back one day to explore more. It leaves the place for surprise and a dream :)

Birthday

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:56:25 GMT

Yesterday we did something new - tennis.

I always wanted to try and it was the best gift I could wish for my birthday.

Maybe calling it 'playing tennis' is exaggeration, since the best attempt included no more than 4 hits, but this was great.
I'm really grateful to Kirez who tolerated me hitting balls all over the place. He let me have my fun and I enjoyed it so much.

Mischka apparently decided that this was new fancy way to play fetch. Half of the time she had 2 balls in her mouth while chasing the third one. It was hilarious to watch her trying to fit this third ball into her mouth with the other two :)
And I should say that 3 balls were all we had, so half of our time we spent trying to overrun or catch Mischka.

15-20 minutes left me happy and exhausted. More from running, partially from ~~hitting the ball~~ swinging the racket :) Again I had this thought that it's for the best that I want to play tennis, not baseball - no way I can hit a ball with a stick!

***

I had a wonderful, wonderful Birthday!
Yesterday we went rock climbing at the gym, then ate dinner in Greek restaurant, bought a cake and (justifying it with the fact that in Russia it was already the 14th of June) ate it, had fun at tennis courts, swam in the pool, watched really cool movie, talked to my parents, slept in in the morning, started day with the cake with candle and Russian traditional Birthday song, made wonderful dinner and went to play tennis again...
2 days of fun and joy - could it be any better?

And pumpkin again :)

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 06:19:14 GMT

The pumpkin was sad and lonely, its friend left last night and never came back. It didn't know that tonight its turn will come to become a jack-o-lantern...

Everything started with me cutting the bottom off, and pulling the strings and seeds and all this other stuff out from the pumpkin. Kirez meanwhile was working on the stencil. The picture he chose was interesting and unpredictable, but he wanted to try and I'm happy he did :) [As for me, we now have 2 the best pumpkins in the world ;)].

[Do you see the 'inspirational' mug next to him?]

The method Kirez was using was different, he didn't carve through, but shaved the skin to make the pattern glow in the dark. It really looks cool, you'll see :)

The process, and the result are on the following photos.

TA-DAAAA!

And together:

My first PUMPKIN!!!

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 07:08:35 GMT

We don't celebrate Halloween in Russia, and we don't have pumpkins. Somebody, I think, does have pumpkins, but not in Siberia. And not these big orange pumpkins.

I was so excited when about a week ago Kirez stopped at the entrance of the store and asked how many days we had to Halloween. I couldn't believe, I couldn't think he would like to carve a pumpkin! That night we returned home with 2 big pumpkins :)

I remember, when I was in Russia, and reading about Halloween, I was thinking how fun it would be to carve a pumpkin. I was imagining faces I would put on it. But today, choosing the pattern for MY pumpkin, I realized that I don't want to carve just simple face.

But before I finally found right stencil, I had to prepare the pumpkin.

Kirez cut the top off, and I dipped my hands inside it. Have to say, since we bought those pumpkins, I was reading cooking web-sites, trying to find recipes with pumpkin, and I found 2 that I liked and wanted to try. But this pumpkin was almost empty! We had some seeds, and handful of 'flesh'. So, no pumpkin pie this time.
I scrubbed the inside of the pumpkin as good as I could. And I couldn't believe the wall was so thick!

Pumpkin was ready, and I wanted to start right away, but Kirez suggested me to look on the internet for different patterns first. So I did.
And how he is always so smart? ;)

It took me awhile, but I started carving knowing exactly what I want and how to do it. Kirez printed out the stencil for me and we taped it to the pumpkin, so I could transfer the pattern onto the skin.

I didn't find anything better than tiny nail to poke the holes outlining the witch, so I had to work with it. I actually have scar on my index finger from pushing the head of the nail that was less than 1/8 of an inch in diameter. This made the beginning of carving itself a nice relief.

Following are the carving process and my pumpkin at different stages of carving:

READY!!!

And Kirez's pumpkin is still not touched :-P

And here is the culmination - lighting the pumpkin!!!

And the result:

I think it's really cool. For the first-timer :) I was so proud of myself.

Nostalgia :)

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 07:52:42 GMT

I just wanted to share little piece of my childhood with you.

shooting range

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 08:03:28 GMT

I went shooting today! And it was really cool :) Amazing. I didn't know I would love it so much!
I shot 4 guns, each one different, and it was so interesting to 'explore' a new gun with every set.

***

My heart was beating so fast and so loudly, I thought that I would never be able to control my arms, they seemed to be 'floating' all around the target with every breath... And I was afraid of the gun in my hand. Silly, I was afraid not of the gun itself and its power, but of the cartridges flying from the chamber :) I 'saw' how they would hit me in the eyes, or something like that. The night before I was thinking that I would forget about my left thumb and put it right behind the moving part of semiautomatic gun :)

It was exciting. And new. And interesting. I loved the feeling. And I loved the result.

Honestly, I'm proud of myself :)

***

Here is my first set. Jason - ernunnos , my instructor who made all of this possible -- told me to aim for the bottom of the target, not the center, and this is it:

And the result of two sets you can see on the photo below:

***

Of course, I was shooting very slow compared to Kirez or Jason. Preparing for every shot forever. But, hey, this was the very first time for me!
And although the target was only 10' away, it looks like a pretty good job for a beginner:

(Ok-ok, this huge hole in the middle of the paper was not very accurate aiming, but look how close I put those bullets!)

***

It was a great beginning for a weekend. And all I want now is just a little gun of my own :)

Mischka

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 07:11:52 GMT

Big day for Mischka :)

First, she is now proud owner of her own sock! She was stealing our socks all the time, hunting for them, trying to get a moment to sneak into the closet and dig out another sock. So today we decided that she just needs to have her own sock, and the next one she found became hers. You should see how happy she was! She was playing with this poor sock the whole day, who knew she needs so little to be happy :)

***

And second, today she went with us to the horses' place!

She had never met horse before and she was scared, she tried to hide behind Kirez's leg.

But she is too curious to let those strange animals to be so close and don't smell them, don't try to make friends...

She went little bit closer, and started sniffing around, and she suddenly became so excited, and made this funny little sound (which I would interpret as 'hey, what is going on, WHAT is it?!)
Came closer...

And started barking as she never did before. She was so excited!

After that we took her back to the car and she slept all the way back to home - so tiresome, isn't it, to explore the world? :)

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:22:13 GMT

I have SSN! Just got the card in mail :)

Cactus ride :)

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:44:16 GMT

You may laugh at me, but I love cacti saguaro. They are so funny looking! And the are huge. I like them. And I meant to take camera and walk around, taking photos of cacti, for a long time. Finally today I did it.
I took rollerblades (thanks Josh and Kathy!) and it was so nice to move fast and free through the neighborhood. And I just felt so happy to be rollerskating again! I was alone. No people, no cars. And I could do whatever I wanted to, no matter how clumsy I felt sometimes, trying to stop at that particular cactus :).

Look at them!

Day 1

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 03:49:39 GMT

We landed in Atlanta early morning of the 3rd of July.

Sunshine and blue sky, how beautiful!
Funny palms - so tall and so thin.

I'm nervous a little - we have only 2 hours before the flight to Phoenix and I have to go through the immigration process.
The guy at the desk doesn't look to be in a hurry. Slowly, one after one he is taking my papers from the envelop, loooong time looking at them and typing something in his computer. I almost can't understand what he's saying, seeking help, looking for Kirez's eyes... Seems he thinks that I don't speak English at all, he speaks with Kirez instead, explains him what those papers I'm signing are. Fingerprints and we can go.

Hey, I'm in America!!!

Waiting for the flight, playing with the thought that I'm in America.

America... I never dreamed about it. It happened and I'm happy to be here. I'm realizing that I don't have any special expectations, I just like it, because it's my new home.

In Phoenix Kirez's mom and Grandma are waiting for us. They are happy, and so nice to me. And I want to be nice too. I don't know what to say and I'm not sure they understand me. But everything seems to be fine :)

CACTI! The same cacti that I had when I was little girl, but hundreds and hundreds times bigger. Childish smile and I want to laugh - it's so cool :)

We went to cafe to meet with Kirez's aunt, then slept, then went to the store to buy the phones, then swam in the pool and finally back home and sleep... Too much for one day. Tomorrow we're leaving.

GREEN CARD

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:25:13 GMT

I received it today in mail - my Permanent Resident Card.

I'm so happy :)

--

1 month ago we were leaving Oman. Week before the departure date Kirez received a call from his employer - someone will meet us at the border to help with canceling our visas. Cancel my visa? It will be a problem...
As a russian I can't get into the UAE without visa. Being a resident of Oman AND being a doctor let me apply for the special kind of entry permit which can be issued right at the border. If they are going to cancel my resident visa for Oman BEFORE I will enter the UAE, I won't be able to enter the country. I was sure about this. It took me a while to assure Kirez.

- No, you absolutely can not cancel her visa
- No problem, no problem...
- There WILL be problem, you CAN NOT cancel it!
- No problem...
- You MUST NOT do this!

They raised a great buzz, started running all over the place, and finally stamped "CANCELLED" on top of my visa, accompanying it with usual parroting 'no problem, no problem, no problem'.

The man who was with us quietly sneaked away as soon as Kirez said that now he had to go with us and explain to the UAE side what has happened. We were left alone. Stuck in between of 2 countries.

Of course they didn't let me into the UAE. We didn't manage to talk our way through - the arabs all of a sudden became even more stubborn than always. NO, and this was their final answer. The explanation, that the airplane leaving in several hours and we're leaving the Gulf forever, didn't have any effect n them. No.
And what were we to do?

I wish I had this little plastic card that I've got today back then! Oh, how I wish I had it... It would save me from the most painful experience of interacting with Russian Government I've ever had :( Painful - because when your country turning your back to you in such situation, you understand fully that they don't need you, that you're nothing for them. For the state.

I didn't want to call Russian Embassy. I knew I won't get any help, and I wanted to keep the hope that maybe they would help.

Kirez was first. He called American Embassy and explained our situation. They started working immediately, even though I was not their citizen. They were trying to find solution for me, they were looking for the ways.

Then I called Russians...
On the 3rd or 4th time someone finally responded to my call. As usual, listened to what I had to say and sent me to 'someone else'. This someone else asked only one question:
'So, you are NOT in the UAE yet?'
'No, I cannot enter the UAE, we stuck in between 2 borders, and that's why I need your help'
'If you're not in the UAE call someone else. Good bye'

I managed to hold him on line for a little while longer. Just asked why the americans are trying to help me even though I'm just a wife of their citizen, and Russians are turning their back to me? For what I've got great response: "So they are trying to do something? God help them, god help them..."

I wanted to cry.

--

It took us 3 hours of passing back and forth between two borders, talking, warning, pleading, but finally we made it through - Omani side reissued the resident visa for me right on the spot (extraordinary situation) and with this visa, being a GCC resident again, I finally had rights to get UAE visa. 3 hours later than expected, we were on the road to the airport. 200 kph, to be in time for the airplane.

Wichita Falls

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:58:25 GMT

We are in Texas, in Wichita Falls now and we're fairly excited about moving here in the beginning of August. I like the city. It's not like the cities I'm used to in Russia - it's low and spread out. And it looks very nice and clean, with a lot of trees. I think I will like living here :)
The gym is perfect, the best we could dream of! A lot of work to be done, but with this gym we can focus on management and training stuff, and on our sometimes crazy ideas, without thinking that we need to buy another piece of equipment, scrape money for the rent and so on.
We found a little house to rent and this is also exciting - I can't wait to move in and start turning this house into our home.

Tomorrow we're leaving Texas, going to Phoenix and then to California, to be back here by the 1st of August.

Hello, America!

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 07:48:56 GMT

It's been almost 10 days since we're here, in the US. Wonderful time! It's so interesting, everything is so different, so new, so many things to see, to learn. I'm overwhelmed with emotions and feelings. And I'm happy :)

Joshua asked me to describe America in 2-3 adjectives, and all I could think about were 'big and beautiful'. I honestly didn't expect to be so stunned by the beauty of the nature of the New World continent :) I loved the desert of Arizona, I loved Californian countryside, I loved Pacific, I loved Monterey and Carmel, I loved mountains in New Mexico and Texas prairies... Simply looking at the huge endless sky makes me incredibly happy. I smile like a child - I missed blue sky with islands of clouds :)

I will write a lot more, starting from the very first day, as soon as we have just a little bit more time. Now I just want to say thank you to all of you who are with me on this full of adventures route, to those, whom I already met and will meet soon, to those, whose support and kindness turn these days in a great experience of my life :)

Euro 2008

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 09:56:50 GMT

Russia - Netherlands

3:1

We are in a semi-final!

For the first time in the last 20 years, Russian national football (soccer) team will play in a semi-final of the European Championship.

ВПЕРЕД РОССИЯ!!!

3 weeks and 3 days

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 07:32:49 GMT

3 weeks and 3 days to the Big Day - we're coming to America.
How do I feel? I'm excited. And I'm scared.
New life - unknown and thrilling - how will it meet me?

I have Kirez to hold my hand, to encourage, to smile :)
And I feel like a child on the Christmas Eve.

The "first ball" :) What if I do the wrong thing? How do I know what is right and what is wrong? What if they will not like me?

I am overwhelmed with thoughts, fears and hopes.

***

Back in 1990, little girl came to the school for the first time in her life. She was proud of her little victory and she wasn't afraid at all...

30+ kids in class. They were together for 5 months by the time little stranger entered their class (I started school not on the 1st of September as all other kids, but somewhere in the middle of the February).

Only now, almost 20 years later, I start to realize what did they give me. My new classmates accepted me as one of them. They always supported and protected me. Like I was everyone's little sister. And I remember so clear their kindness and care. They lead me through these first very difficult days and never left me afterward. For 3 years they became my family. I was the youngest and the smallest in my class. And definitely the happiest :)

***

Now this little girl inside me holds my hand, and smiles, saying that everything will be fine :)

Muscat - Sur

Sat, 24 May 2008 11:16:37 GMT

Living in the UAE, we were reading the Lonely Planet guide for Oman and all those places seemed to be great goals for travels. Then we didn't have visa (for me) and could only plan and dream, but what happened when we came to live here, in Oman? We're free now to go anywhere - Salalah, Jebel Shams, Ras Al Jins - but suddenly we didn't want this anymore! We've been cruising between Nizwa and Muscat, having great mini-vacation every weekend and we're really happy with this. But now it's time to break the habit. Our departure date is approaching rapidly (yay!) and we started our exploration of Oman. The port city of Sur became our first destination.

The coastal road between Muscat and Sur couldn't promise us anything - we didn't know if we could get through, or would have to turn back halfway there, but this made it only more attractive :) We didn't know what to expect from the city of Sur, and just in case, we packed the car for 2 days of travel. Just the packing was exciting :)

Two hours later than we'd planned we were finally on our way.

The road to Muscat, so familiar... I like this road. The desert and mountains somehow every time look different. I like to look at the window and like how my thoughts are wandering around. Sometimes we're talking, and I love this. But in general I'm probably the worst road companion ever - I can sit silent for many hours, thinking, looking for answers.

First stop - Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Muscat - the biggest mosque in Oman.

It's interesting how in the pictures the minarets seem to bend inward - illusion?

The largest hand-made Persian rug in the world lies in the main prayer room of this Mosque. Arabs really like all 'the biggest, the largest, the tallest, etc.' :)

After a short stop for breakfast we headed South.

Having no idea where the coastal road can take its beginning, we're just guessing, playing with GPS, tiny map in the Lonely Planet guide. Apparently, to get to the actual coastal road, we need to drive through mountains to the small town of Quriyat.
At first I was skeptical about Kirez's idea to videotape the road on the drive. I thought that the reflection in the window would not let us see very clear. I was so wrong! And it's so funny to watch those short videos now - the scenery we see every day now in our computer! And it sure will be a great memory :)

Quriyat appears to be small city with a lot of goats. Goats were everywhere! I never saw that many goats. No, really! They were occupying every piece of shade, leaning to the walls of buildings, fences, standing under the trees...

We didn't stop to take proper photos, but here are some snap-shots from our video:

No people around. And no signs pointing to the road!
But we did it :) After second tour around the city we finally found it - the coastal road!

The Ocean on one side, desert and mountains on the other. GPS showing that we're driving in the middle of nowhere. And everything is so beautiful! And calm. And we're sitting in the car and eating apples with peanut butter - yum :) And life is good!

We know that the road is still under construction and we'll need to drive in the wadi. How far we'll make it in our car? Guides call for 4WD on this road. But we should try - just go as far as we can. We made it the whole way to Sur :) But this is later. Now heading to Dibab.

On the way to Dibab we couldn't not stop at this place! Gorgeous! The water was so blue and the rocks around were so spectacular. We were standing on the rocks, hanging over the water, and we could hear the waves breaking under our feet!
In places like this I feel so tiny and so free. I love thinking that I'm a part of this beautiful world :)

This road we took to get finally to Dibab:

Dibab is a small fishermen's village. Narrow dirty streets, lazy people sitting out there on the steps next to their houses and doing nothing, goats and sheep.

And just in 2 minutes drive - this amazingly beautiful place (Wadi Tiwi?):

Soon after we passed Dibab we finally hit the road - the real road to Sur! And just several minutes later we're entering the city!

Hmmmm... I don't know what we expected. Same buildings, same 'sales of foodstuff' and 'chickens sales' kind of signs, same people, walking around or sitting outside on the carpets, and kids playing soccer... But at the same time unmistakable 'spirit' of different city.
Sur was the biggest port of Oman one day, and now it is still one of the most important cities in the country.
I'm glad we made it. Even though staying somewhere there for a night was not an option from the very moment we entered the city. We headed back to Muscat in just 20-30 minutes, after we drove around the city, videotaping all we could see around.

We took longer in-land road this time - something new. Very soon sun went down and we finished our ride in the dark. Muscat, then Nizwa.
Home! It's so nice to be home :)

Moulin Rouge

Mon, 05 May 2008 05:37:11 GMT

Remembering the first movie I have ever watched in English :) My friend came back from Germany and brought DVD "Moulin Rouge". DVD was bought in Germany, so it didn't have 'russian' option - either German or English. Since Tanya - the girl who brought the DVD - 'knew' only German, and we - my sister and I - only English, after short we decided to watch movie with English sound and German subtitles.

I've got very vague idea of what the movie was about. But it was simply exciting to think that we watched the whole movie in English.

Disaster :)

30 minutes in movie...

- Wait, does anybody know what the name of the main character is?
- No
- No
- Maybe... Duke? I hear this word more often than others?
- I don't have any 'Duke' in my subtitles!
- Huh! Ok...

[As you see we didn't even get the point that mysterious Duke and Ewan McGregor's character are different people]

Another 20 minutes...

[20 minutes of matching sound and subtitles to realize that...]

- No, it's not Duke - Duke is a 'Herzog' in German!
- So what is his name, then?
- Have no idea! Let's watch.

[And why this obsession with that name? Maybe we thought that this was the minimum we had to get from the movie? I actually don't know if he had any name.]

Heroically we watched it to the end. Understood no English whatsoever but proud of ourselves we 'checked' this movie as 'watched' in our heads.
[At least we learned what the word 'duke' means :)]

It was 4 years ago.

slower

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 05:13:01 GMT

5K is a big challenge for me, and the last time it took me more than 40 minutes to complete the run, so if Kirez was to be at work on time, we had to be at the track by 5:15-5:20 a.m. Nice...

***

The alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. Kirez switched it off and came back to bed. Silence...
Tiny little *hope* started raising its head - "no run, no run, no run!!" Just keep silent - you're asleep...
No-no-no! You didn't mean this! (*hey, he is not sure himself, just keep silent... hold him... nice, comfortable, why leave all this?*)
What? You will run and I will sleep? (*tempting, oh, how tempting!*)

And killing this hope - "I'll run with you!"

***

Ok-ok, I'm up!

***

The distance was cut to 3K for me, this way we'll finish at the same time. Nice weather. Sun just showed up over the mountains.
After almost a year of having my iPod I discovered the function of making 'on-the-go' playlist! Wow! For the first time I was running and enjoying every song I choose to play for this run :)
Several times caught myself on the thought that it IS a nice way to start a day! And 3K after expected 5K - huge relief... Just 7.5 laps.

I never stopped to walk, ran all my 3K in very even speed and finished exactly in 21:00 minutes!

Huh... That is strange! Again the same picture as with my 5K - the 'non-stop' run is slower than when I'm letting myself to walk every now and then.
Kirez is right when saying that my walking speed is not much slower than my jogging speed, which makes the pattern understandable, but what should I do then? It doesn't make sense to stop and walk to get better times for long distance run!

***

Looking at my 4x400m runs times and the progression over time, it's clear that my speed is growing faster than the endurance, the ability to push myself through the whole workout without slowing down dramatically.

23 JAN 2:04 - 2:14 - 2:17 - 2:20
14 APR 1:46 - 1:59 - 2:22 - 2:23

Apparently I should work much more intensive to bring my metcon up.

***

The question is how to make myself strong enough to not be misled with the times I'm showing and continue working on 'non-stop' running even if it is slower.

Random thoughts

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:22:50 GMT

Sometimes I'm remembering my patients. Thinking how do they do, what have changed in their lives... I remember almost everyone, even if I 'had' them for just 10-12 days in those 2 years of my residency.
I was working in hospital and in Russia this system is so different from the US or European practice, and that is what I loved and what I'm missing now. My patients were coming to the hospital for 2-3 weeks, I was seeing them every day, talking to them, teaching them. I loved this job!

Along with those whom I saw just once, I had patients who were coming back again and again. I was proud when for the first time one of the patients came to the head of the clinic and asked her to make me his doctor, because he liked how I worked with him last time he was in clinic :) I was proud! By the end of the 2nd year of my residency I had more than 10 patients like this one - they were coming to me. And I was happy to work with them. I knew so much of their lives. I tried to make it better, tried to help.
Some older doctors were saying that it's crazy to spend so much time for the daily rounds, but how could I leave the patients - they were waiting for me, they had so much to say, they wanted to share and they wanted to hear cheering words from me.

Sometimes now I'm remembering my patients. Maybe they remember me too. But now they have other doctors, and probably they love their new doctors even more. Maybe when they came to the clinic for the first time after I left, they asked about me. Maybe not. Maybe other residents work with them now and they don't even know who I am and in response to *my* patient's "Where is Natalia Alexandrovna?" they will say "We don't have doctor with that name in this clinic". Sad smile...

Life will go on. And I will never meet them again. But I'm grateful for the experience I had and for the sincere, real 'love' from those strangers. I hope they are all well.

Don't touch me when I'm lifting!

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:12:26 GMT

'Hey, you're UNBEARABLE!' - These words and wide smile met me last night after I finished my scaled version of "Linda" workout.

10-8-6-4-2 reps of 90# dead-lifts, 60# bench-press and 45# hang power cleans.

Huh! Not surprising I got that angry! In a good (?) sense of word. This anger helps me. Sometimes I think that this anger is the only thing that keeps me going - 'I can, I will do it!'
I consider it strange that I do know that my mood changes so dramatically during those hard workouts, but I can't do anything about it! I just get angry - at bars, at weights, at myself, at strangers staring at me. I yell at Kirez, who helps me to count reps and spots me on the bench, and getting even more angry at myself because I know it's not fair to do it to him...

This anger is not something related to my life outside the gym, it's coming from nowhere and leaving as soon as I finish the workout.

I don't have feeling of being exhausted after weightlifting, i feel calm and peaceful - finally that's ended. I feel soft, all I want is a big hug and a smile. And if I only could wrap myself in big warm blanket and sit in a chair with big mug of hot tea - I would be completely happy :)

Remembering the state of mind I had during the lifts I usually want to laugh - it's so bizarre!

Russian English

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:50:33 GMT

I remember when I was a little girl and just learned how to count, and I was counting everything – steps, stairs, windows... It was so much fun and I felt so “grown up” - I knew the numbers and I knew how to put them in order. Wow! :)

I think every one of us went through this stage, and it seems that this simple action is sitting somewhere inside us, always ready to come to help when we need it. Do you ever think when you counting if you're doing it right? This process is so well known, so familiar, that it's automatic. You don't need to concentrate on this, you just count – one, two, three, four...

For me it always was – raz, dva, tri, chetire... And now I'm going through really bizarre experience when I need to think when I'm counting. If my attention will stop for just a moment on the numbers I'm mumbling - I'm lost. The problem is numbers like 'four' (chetire), 'ten' (desyat), 'eleven' (odinnadtsat) and so on – difference in number of syllables, that what makes me stop and think. It changes routine, it makes the process look wrong, it sounds wrong.

Now, when English took part of the main language I use, the english count comes first – if I need to count I'm starting it in English, but if I stop and think I want to continue in Russian!

Really, really strange feelings...

***

I don't know how to get to the point when I'll be comfortable with my English. My Russian is extremely well, I know that and I used to be proud of it. This makes the fact of imperfection of my English even more frustrating.

I have naturally good spelling skills. Somehow, they automatically apply to English – I can see misspellings because the word doesn't look right to me, and I actually can find the right way to spell without the dictionary just moving letters around – usually i will see the correct word.

Unfortunately this is not true for the grammar and especially for vocabulary :(

I'm thinking now about what I want to write here and understand how silly it will sound – sometimes I don't use the correct, better, more apt word just because I'm ashamed to use this 'advanced' vocabulary! Weird shyness...

Russian grammar gives you more freedom to play with sentences and words order. Take the phrase: I'm going home.

In Russian you can say it in 6 different ways! And excluding some subtle emotional difference all these phrases carry the same information - I'm going home.

я иду домой
я домой иду
домой я иду
домой иду я
иду я домой
иду домой я

In English you can use only one way. This makes all the difference in the world.

***

It's interesting... I'm catching myself thinking in English, when I'm writing letters to my russian friends, when I'm thinking of the conversation I just had with my parents or going to have with some russian officials (yeah, strangely to say, the officials is the only source of spoken Russian I have now besides of my family).
It's such a mess in my head – I'm sending letter and go to do some work and then return to check if I wrote the letter in Russian or in English!

When I just talked to someone in Russian I'm starting speak Russian without noticing it – I realize that something is wrong when I see that Kirez doesn't understand me. When in Russia I sometime slip into English and realize that only after mom tells me.

***

I'm not complaining :) I love this challenge and actually it's a lot of fun. I'm lucky to have supporting and understanding husband, who is willing to listen to my poor English and even manages to understand it. Hey, he has an unlimited patience when it's about English!

Thank you, Kirez.

THE pull-up :)

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 07:47:48 GMT

Me: I'm going to do a pull-up!
Kirez: What?
Me: I will do a strict pull up right now!
Kirez: Hey, you better save your strength for the workout!
Me: Watch me!

And I DID IT :) I was shocked myself, i tried so many times before and I never could complete the movement!

My first pull-up! Ever.

Afterwards, laughing and hugging me,
Kirez: Do you know in how much trouble you're now?

I was too happy to understand the full meaning of these words...
Ok, I agreed - the goal is to do 3 consecutive pull-ups in a 3-weeks time.

3-2-1 GO!

Another 5K

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 08:10:55 GMT

Yesterday we ran again. I couldn't believe when I saw the WOD in the morning! 5K?? Again?!?! It was so tempting to run just 1 mile - I still didn't measure my time on this distance, but Kirez asked me to run the whole way. He was right, if I can do it, I should. I just really, really didn't want to go through all this pain again. Running days are the only days I wish we had weightlifting workouts - I'd rather do another Fran, or Diane, or any other lifting 'girl'.

2 weeks ago I completed my first 5K in 36 minutes 54 seconds.

Last night, from the very first lap I knew I would not beat that time, I had another goal, which was to run all 12.5 laps without stopping / walking - run all the way to the finish. For this I should have pace myself very accurately. Actually, my dear husband was very surprised, when I said I ran all 12.5 laps without walking, he said: "How? I thought I saw you walking!". That I was running :) Yeah, my speed was probably the same as if I was walking, but I was running!

My previous max non-stop-run time was 25 minutes, I had to best it by at least 15 minutes. By the 9th lap I knew I would do that.

Music, playing on my iPod was certainly not for running, but since it's so difficult to switch between stopwatch and playlists when you're running, especially, when you're trying to time every your lap, I decided to continue. Oh, I really enjoyed my time :) It was such a beautiful night! We ran on the dark stadium, with the moon and stars as the only source of light. This mysterious blue light, so special and so perfect. And music...

-- Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata
-- Sen Sans - Le Cygne
-- Ocean
-- Mozart - Fantasie in D minor
-- In a moment of peace
-- Enya - May It Be
-- Beethoven - Piano sonata N.17 "Storm"
-- Tchaikovsky - Piano concerto N.1
-- Rachmaninov - Piano Sonata N.2

This playlist will be a perfect reading / relaxing / dreaming music, do not try to run with it if time is your goal!

I completed my distance in 40 minutes 52 seconds - 5 minutes worse than 2 weeks ago. But I never stopped and this is an achievement for me bigger than showing a better time. Now I know - I CAN :)

150 double-unders

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 21:53:42 GMT

I've just learned my double-unders on the 26^th of January – less than 3 weeks ago, and I was really, really bad at them – I could do 1 DU after 4-8 singles, and after that I was landing in so deep squat that it was impossible to continue even with singles. I knew I need practice, but hey, it's so painful when you're hitting yourself with the rope! I was quitting jumping after 3-4 minutes of trying, delaying it for later, and then for later again.

When I saw today's WOD – 75 snatches – I realized that I should find some substitution – first, I don't have even a shadow of right technique on snatches, second, the lightest weight we have at home is 45 pounds bar – too much for me (yet ;).

So I looked at CFKids – they were doing handstand push-ups, ring-dips and pull-ups – I just did all these yesterday! I'm so incredibly sore after the “Nate” workout! Wow, I forgot what it is like :)

And I headed to the big table with Girls workouts, where I found “Annie”:

50-40-30-20-10 Double-Unders and Sit Ups – exactly what I need for getting better at my double-unders!

I knew that workout would be really hard for me, I actually was ready to do it for an hour and a half at least :) But something's happened – right at the beginning I did several DU in a row! No, not like DU-DU-DU, I did it with 4 singles between them, but it was a progress – I've never done it before. So I continued with a great energy. Since that point I knew that my choice of workout was right – I hit one of my biggest weaknesses and I improved a lot :)

My first injury with CrossFit! Who could think that rope-jumping can cause problems with fingers?

Finishing second round – 40 DU – I looked at my right hand and saw a big lump filled with blood right on the joint of the ring-finger ('knee of the finger', as I called it as a kid :). From constant hitting this poor finger with the rope. We didn't know what it's going to be like after a time, so we decided it's better to remove the ring (i'm wearing the wedding ring on my right hand as everyone in Russia) before the finger get swollen. It was so painful!!! Ouch. Kirez had to use the soap and water to do this.

I also have numerous linear bruises on my forearms – not very nice... Price of my mistakes.

Trying to do these 150 DU I did at least 4 times as much singles. Sit-ups felt like a rest.

I gave this workout 100% of my energy, and I managed to complete it in 30 minutes and 45 seconds! Not great for someone, really bad for others, but for me this was a victory :)

Visa

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 21:50:34 GMT

My interview for getting US immigrant visa is scheduled for 25^th of March!

40 days from now :) Woohoo!